Excitement. Nervousness. Curiosity.
As the car approaches nearer, I can see the flame much clearer. By now I am sitting on the very edge of my seat. My heart is beating so fast I held up my hand to it in an attempt to calm it down. The car slows down and then reaches to a halt. Both of my feet feels numb. Unable to move. I remain in my seat just a minute longer. I want to savour every moment. The second I step out of the car, the all too familiar smell hits me straight up. I can smell the salt in the air. The wind is blowing so hard there's a rush of sound from all of the trees. I can't help but feel a smile drawn up on my face.
The sound of voices all muddled up is music to my ears. The high pitched voice, the one I can detect from a mile away hits me real hard and I realize I really am here. Her voice is the first thing I usually hear, long before I see her shadow approaching. I stand and watch as the figure becomes clearer and I see that same smile. The one that doesn't seem to age even if everything else has. Behind that smile, I see all the other figures rushing forward. All of a sudden, the long trip is forgotten just with this image in front of me.
Seeing my family all in one place. The chaos. The sound of little voices shrieking and laughing. The same welcoming from them. Everything is intensified the moment I step in the house. The smell, the sound, the sights. I breathe to take it all in. Even before I can sit down I can hear screaming, I hear the sound of pots rattling. I can feel the energy in the air and can probably feed off it for months.
There will be bickering, there will be tears, there will be screams, laughter. There will be tension in the air. There will be stress over the food. Over the clothes.
To quote Haverlock Ellis
'abscence of flaw in beauty is itself a flaw.'
All of this build up of feeling. The crazy chaotic madness, It is what makes the festivity even more of a festival. All of this jumbled up together is what creates a beautiful festival for me.
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